Trust is a False Economy

We relinquish our fears in the contracts of trust and place our safety in the hands of others. We teach our subconscious and nervous system to remain vigilant, silently scanning for signs of misconduct. When our fears prod and poke, we seek reassurance and the contract is renewed. The people we trust become fixed—snapshots of the moment the contract was signed—and when these people change, we call it betrayal and shut down the vulnerability we traded for safety. Is this connection? Or control?

People are dynamic beings, constantly changing. Trust, by nature, negates fluidity.
Why are we still buying into a concept that’s flawed by design?

Love is a Sacred Self-State

Love has become a commodity; a sacred self-state we trade for security. A state of being misinterpreted and personified as an external source. We then objectify this love and place it in the hands of others, trusting they’ll behave according to the script while we perpetually audition their performance. Love becomes less of a personal lived experience than a product we use to manipulate and control, bargain with and trade. We assign meanings to the objectified experience, package it and sell it on shelves to be given as tokens, reaffirming its essence as externally sourced.

Love is a part of who we are. We meet others from this love that resides within us all. It is not dependent on others. It is not born from others, but from presence; they just remind us it still lives.

Emotional Safety is Self-Sourced

In order to feel safe we outsource our emotions to the predictability of others and call it trust. And when the person we trust becomes unpredictable, our inner peace is dismantled. We resist and renounce responsibility for our emotional landscape instead of tending to it ourselves. We then blame and shame others for the way we feel, often creating guilt and resentment and relational disharmony, whilst feeding our inner victim. Emotional safety isn’t given, it’s cultivated within ourselves through ownership of our emotions. Safety cannot be found in others. It cannot be outsourced.

If your peace is dependent on the predictability of others, were you really ever safe at all?

Freedom is Radical Acceptance

We all, wether it’s conscious or not, crave freedom, yet we all run from consensual acceptance. Acceptance of self. Acceptance of others. Acceptance of what is. The opposing force to freedom is control, which is the expression of resistance; it’s what binds us to the very thing we can’t control and creates the prison that forms our suffering. We think we are in control of things and that is an illusion. We control nothing but ourselves; actions and speech are the only two things within our grasp.

When we radically accept, we cease to resist. When we do this something extraordinary happens within our being: we become lighter, less rigid, less stressed, happier people.

When was the last time you truly felt free?